Melancholy

A block in my throat
A hollow stomach
My eyes beg, plead to cry
But no tears come
Memories rush the floodgate
And break the barrier
Acoustic guitars fill my ears
Though all is silent
A familiar lyric whispers
"Where?"
"Where do you belong?"
Brain cells burst trying to decide
"Not here," I answer
"Not there, either."
"Nowhere," the wind whispers
My heart sinks,
Enlarging the hollow in m gut
As I realize
The wind is right.
Suddenly, the world is a giant
And I am a bug
Insignificant
Unknown
And I curl up
Amidst the sheets
Hoping that warmth brings comfort
And I feel warmed.
Safe for one more night
One word
Only one
Can describe the way I feel when I see..
An old railroad, a run-down neighborhood
An empty street, with only a breeze as company
A baseball dugout
An old playground.
One word
Melancholy.
Homesick? No.
Depressed? No.
Melancholy. A beautiful, sorrowful mix
Between to two.
It tastes like
Strawberries. And vanilla.
Like flame-grilled burgers
And fresh corn.
It smells like
Fresh dirt
And newly fallen rain
And the resulting mudpies
It is
Those fondly-stored memories
Kept out of hope
Out of longing
That one day, you will go back.
These dreams are foolish
But they bring comfort
The only condolences
From an insensitive world
That could care less
And, as you drift off to sleep
Your heart becomes a drum
And your memories sing a song
A low, sweet ballad
That dulls the senses
And leaves you feeling
Cold
Alone
But comforted
That feeling becomes a word.
Melancholy.
The one word that keeps coming back
And haunts your dreams
As you lay alone in bed
And everything moves on.